THE GIRL IN THE MIDDLE

Adoption is misunderstood. Stigma, fear, judgment, and lack of information often stand in the way of women who might otherwise choose this path. At the same time, thousands of families are ready to parent and waiting to adopt. And, birth mothers deserve dignity, respect, and support before, during, and after placement should they choose it.

Here's what you need to know:

You have options.

Adoption isn’t giving up—it’s choosing what’s right for you and your future.

You choose the family.

You’re in control of who your child is placed with—and what kind of life they’ll have.

You choose if you want an open relationship.

Stay connected in a way that’s meaningful to you—with openness, updates, or ongoing contact.

You choose what’s in the best interest of your child.

This is your choice, your voice, and your ability to shape a future filled with love.

Adoption is knowing your options with confidence.

Adoption 101

Adoption today is very different from the past — no longer secret, shame-filled, or decided without a mother’s voice, but open, supported, and centered on your choices. This is where you’ll find simple, honest answers to help you begin exploring the options available to you and your child.

What is adoption today?
Adoption today is open and transparent. It’s no longer hidden, shameful or decided for you—your voice matters, your decisions matter, and you are valued and respected throughout the process. It is a process where you should be supported but not pressured or coerced. It is an option available for you where you decide what is best for you and your child. It is an option that allows you to decide who will parent your child and express your level of connection.
What do open, semi-open, and closed adoption mean?
These terms describe connection with the adoptive family and refer to the level of exchange of identifying information between parties. Open adoption may include updates, messages, or even visits, and can be a relationship like an extended family. Semi-open contact is related to information being shared through an adoption specialist or advocate, while closed adoption has no planned ongoing contact or information.
Can I choose the family?
Your adoption specialist can share profiles of potential families so you can learn about them and get to know who feels like the best fit for your child. Licensed specialists can show you families that have undergone rigorous screening including home study, background checks, training, and more.
What does it mean to make an “adoption plan”?
It’s simply outlining your wishes—what kind of family you prefer, how you picture the hospital experience, and the level of contact you’re comfortable with. It’s your voice on paper.
How does the adoption process generally work?
You can talk with an adoption agency/specialist, licensed in your state, and depending on your state laws, may also find a licensed adoption attorney or facilitator. They help you learn about your options, look at potential families, and understand the steps after birth. A good specialist walks with you through each part of the process and cares about you—not just the adoption. Adoption is a legal process, after birth, where adoptive families receive full, permanent parental rights upon finalization.
What if I feel unsure?
Many women explore adoption while also considering other options. Learning about adoption doesn’t mean you’ve made a decision—it simply helps you understand what’s possible and empowers you to be fully informed.
Who helps me through the process?
Licensed agencies and specialist may walk with you before, during, and after placement. Depending on your state, licensed adoption attorneys or facilitators may also guide expectant parents through the adoption process.

Your Rights & Choices

You deserve to know your rights at every step, to be treated with dignity, honesty, and care. From legal protections to personal decisions, this section helps you understand what your options are, what to expect and take the next step knowing your feelings, your questions, and your choices matter — and you have the right to understand every option without pressure or judgment.

Do I have to decide right away?
No. You get to move at your own pace. This is your pregnancy and your story, and you deserve the space to think, breathe, and understand your options without anyone rushing you.
Do I have a say in how the adoption works?
Yes. Your wishes matter — from choosing the family to deciding the level of contact to how you want things to feel at the hospital. This is your journey, and your voice should guide it.
Can I change my mind while I’m learning about adoption?
Absolutely. Asking questions doesn’t mean you’ve decided anything. You’re simply gathering the information you need to make the choice that feels right for you and your child.
Can I decide how much contact I want?
Yes. You can share what level of openness feels right—updates, regular contact, or somewhere in-between. Openness isn’t fixed; it often changes as everyone settles into the relationship. Your adoption specialist will help walk you through identifying your desires and wishes. the court approves the adoption.
What if I feel overwhelmed?
It’s completely normal to feel that way. Pregnancy alone, but especially in a hard momen,t can bring a lot of emotion. Adoption specialists are there to listen, answer your questions, and walk with you so you don’t feel alone or pressured.
What if the expectant father is involved?
Every situation is different. Some fathers want to be part of the conversations, and others may feel unsure or overwhelmed. If he is involved, he may need clear information and support, too. Both of you deserve to be treated with respect as you sort through what this decision means.
Is there a “right” or “wrong” choice? if the expectant father is involved?
No. There is only the choice that fits your life, your values, and your hopes for your child. You deserve honest information and the freedom to make the decision that brings you the most peace.

The Adoption Process

Every adoption plan unfolds at your pace. These questions walk through what to expect — from first conversations to post-placement care — so you can feel confident, informed, and supported.

What happens during pregnancy?
During your pregnancy, you may create an adoption plan that allows you to choose your level of openness, choose the parents for your child, and create a personal hospital care plan. This care plan will help your adoption specialist to advocate for you and be able to communicate your desires to the medical practitioners during your hospital stay.
When do I meet the adoptive (intended) family?
Usually, during pregnancy, when you are ready and comfortable, you may meet the intended family. These families should have been through extensive screening, background checks, home studies, and interviews, all done by your adoption agency.
What happens after birth?
According to your hospital plan, you decide the amount of time and care you have with your child, and what you would like from your intended family during your stay. After birth, legal placement begins according to your state laws, should you decide to move forward. You should never feel rushed. pregnancy, when you’re ready and comfortable.

Open Adoption & Relationships

Adoption today is built on connection. Learn how open and semi-open adoptions work, what healthy communication looks like, and how to build lasting relationships with your child and the adoptive family.

What does open adoption look like?
It’s a relationship, some say it is like “extended” family – shared contact information, updates, photos, or visits that may vary and depend on your comfort level. Relationships take time and can grow over time.
Are open adoptions really healthy for kids? do binary contact agreements work?
Yes. Research shows children benefit from knowing their birth story. Research also shows positive long-term outcomes for both adoptees and birth mothers in open adoptionshe adoptive family set clear expectations before finalizing the adoption.
May I have visits or get updates?
By choosing open or semi-open adoption, you, your adoption specialist, and the adoptive family can talk about what visits and updates might look like.
What if I want more or less contact later?
Most adoptions are open today and may vary in the level of “openness”. Open adoption is built on relationships, not rules. You can revisit what feels right with your adoption specialist, and the adoptive family to find a balance that works for everyone.

Emotional Health & Healing

Adoption is both an act of love and a process of healing. These questions help you navigate grief, growth, and hope — because caring for your heart is as important as caring for your child’s future.

How do I explain my choice to others? normal to feel grief?
You can share your story in your own time and words. Your adoption specialist can assist you today, tomorrow, or along the journey. Your story matters and you do not need to feel shame or guilt.
What does healing look like?
Healing takes time and work. It’s ongoing, and it is unique to each person. You don’t have to walk it alone. Your adoption specialist should also be willing and able to connect you to certified grief counselors to support you on your healing journey.
Are there support groups for birth mothers?
Yes. Many agencies and organizations offer free peer support.

Adoption Myths & Misconceptions

There’s a lot of misinformation about adoption. Here we replace myths with truth, clear up common misunderstandings, and show how adoption can be an empowering, modern path forward.

Is adoption giving up my child?
NO. It is a courageous decision to make a plan for your child’s future.
Is adoption the same as foster care?
No, with private infant adoption, your child bypasses the foster care system and goes directly into the care of the intended parents that you choose. Foster care is for children who need temporary care because of abuse or neglect, and is not a voluntary decision. Private infant adoption is about creating a plan for your child’s future.
Is adoption still an option after birth?
Yes. You may make an adoption plan at any time.
Is adoption outdated or shameful?
No. Adoption has changed. It’s an act of courage and one that enables options as your child grows. It’s centered on courage and respect. And, the more others know about adoption, the less shame is felt.

Finding the Right Agency or Advocate

The people who walk with you matter. Learn how to identify ethical, trustworthy agencies and advocates who put your care above all else — no pressure, no agenda, just guidance.

How do I know if an agency is ethical?
They focus on you, your care and your plan, not on quick placements or profits. They should be licensed to work in the state where you live. Click here to download our Adoption Agency Checklist.
What should I watch out for?
Pressure tactics, rushed decision-making, unclear promises that feel too good to be true. Make sure you feel supported, and that support is available today, tomorrow, or even years from now.
What if I feel uncomfortable?
You always have the right to change the agency, specialist, or lawyer if you feel you need to. The right adoption specialist, whether it is an agency, lawyer, or facilitator, respects your pace and decisions without pressure.
What makes Adoption Is An Option different?
We’re not an agency or broker — we don’t expect anything from you. We exist only to offer truth, awareness, and information to support you to know your options. We are an advocate for you.

Cost & Support

Adoption should never create a financial burden or emotional gap. Here you’ll find answers about what’s covered, what kind of help is available, and how support continues long after placement.

Does adoption cost anything for birth mothers?
No. It’s free for birth mothers.
What kind of financial support is available?
Agencies can help cover living, medical, and legal expenses during pregnancy.
Will I get counseling or emotional support?
Yes. Ethical agencies offer free counseling before and after placement.
Who pays for medical and legal fees?
Typically, the adoptive family covers these costs through the agency.
Will I be supported after placement?
Yes. Ongoing emotional care and support groups are part of ethical adoptions.

For Your Future

Adoption doesn’t end your story; it becomes part of it. These answers focus on what comes next — education, relationships, healing, and hope for the life you’re building ahead.

Can I go to school or work after adoption?
Yes. Many women use post-placement support to pursue new goals.
How will adoption affect my relationships?
It may bring both challenges and growth. Open communication helps.
Will I ever feel at peace with my choice?
With informed decision making, time, support, and healing – yes.
Can I share my story?
If and when you’re ready. Your story matters.
How can I honor this decision?
Celebrate milestones, write letters, or keep a journal of your love and courage.

From the start, our mission has been simple: to learn, tell, and share the truth about adoption. We exist to bring clarity where confusion has lived for too long. We don’t want anything from you. No forms to fill out, no pressure to decide, no agenda to push. We simply believe that every woman deserves to know adoption is an option, one filled with dignity, courage, and care.

Whether you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking to understand, we’re here to tell the truth about adoption and to replace stigma with empathy.

This isn’t about transactions.

It’s about transformation, one story, one decision, one act of love at a time.

THE GIRL IN THE MIDDLE

From the start, our mission has been simple: to learn, tell, and share the truth about adoption.

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